Leading Young Female Athletes
Written by George Carralejo
It was an early morning at Starbucks three years ago when the email came through. It was time for my daughter to begin her athletic career, and the local soccer league was looking for coaches.
I had waited five years for this moment. My father had always coached me, and naturally, I looked forward to working with my daughter. That morning, after 20 years of coaching boys, I made a decision: I would develop a coaching philosophy tailored to empowering young female athletes.
Too often, I believe we underestimate young female athletes. Coaches worry too much about feelings, lean on inaccurate stereotypes, and fail to recognize that girls are just as capable, competitive, and driven as boys. Based on my experience, here are five key principles every coach should follow to help young women reach their full potential and fall in love with their sport.
1. The Pygmalion Effect: Build Self-Belief
It all starts with The Wizard of Oz. The greatest Pygmalion story ever told. In The Wizard of Oz, the Scarecrow didn’t have a brain, and the Lion didn’t have a heart… until they were told they did. When the Wizard tells the Scarecrow he has a brain, and tells the Lion he has a heart, they begin to believe it themselves.
So much of coaching young athletes comes down to helping them believe in themselves—and that begins when they know their coach believes in them. Successful coaches make players believe in their own ability. “Tell them they can make a play. Tell them you know they can do it. And then invest time in them.” If you do those things, young athletes will start to develop the power of self-belief and deliver results based on the confidence you’ve instilled in them.
The foundation of developing young athletes is building their self-confidence. I call it the Pygmalion Effect—the power of possibility.
2. High Standards Are Contagious
You can develop high standards alongside confidence. Too often, we don’t hold young athletes to a high enough bar. Coaches are overly concerned with making the experience “enjoyable,” ensuring they “sign up again,” or simply “giving them a good experience.”
But you don’t have to sacrifice high standards to accomplish these goals. Focus on teaching young women the fundamentals, celebrate their improvement, and encourage their competitive spirit. These are all enjoyable experiences—and as young athletes improve, they develop a deeper love for the sport.
We all like things we’re good at; it’s human nature. So, develop their skills and competitive drive, and their passion will grow with their progress
3. Create a Competitive Environment
Anson Dorrance, 22-time National Championship head coach of the University of North Carolina’s women’s soccer team, talks about creating a Competitive Cauldron. He fosters an environment where everything is measured and scored. This builds a competitive mindset and teaches young athletes how to handle both success and failure.
I’ve always taken issue with how society treats competition differently for boys and girls. If a boy is competitive, he’s praised. If a girl is competitive, she’s often criticized or pressured to tone it down. I say, if you’re competitive, come play with me. I will embrace it. I’ll bring out the best in you. I’ll protect you from all the Betas who can’t survive or thrive in a competitive environment.
4. Be the Example: Coach, Advisor, Leader, Mentor
As a coach of young women, understand that you wear many hats: Coach, Advisor, Leader, and Mentor. You must know the difference between devotion and loyalty. Devotion is feeling like you must preserve a young lady’s feelings and tell her what she wants to hear. Loyalty is knowing your responsibility is to tell her what she needs to hear—so she can grow.
5. In-Game Coaching: Stay Calm, Controlled, and Disciplined
How a coach behaves during a game matters—especially for young female athletes. Screaming and frantic energy rarely lead to better performance.
Instead, aim to be calm, composed, and disciplined. When a coach is calm, players are calm. When a coach is frantic, players panic. The environment you create directly influences performance.
A steady sideline presence creates space for athletes to think, play freely, and perform under pressure.
Final Thoughts
Ultimately, as a leader of young women, you should design the kind of environment you would love to compete in. One that includes these five principles:
The Pygmalion Effect – Build their self-belief. Make them believe they can and will succeed.
High Standards & Expectations – Young athletes will rise to the level of the expectations set for them.
A Competitive Environment – Never underestimate a young woman’s desire—and ability—to compete.
Be the Example – You’re always being watched. Lead with integrity, clarity, and purpose.
In-Game Coaching – A calm, controlled, disciplined environment brings out the best in every player.
If you do these things, you won’t just develop strong female athletes—you’ll help shape confident, resilient young people ready to face any challenge.
George Carralejo
